Tinnitus

As I’ve said many times before and have written in several previous articles, it’s important for Tinnitus sufferers to focus on what they want instead of what they don’t want. For example; if you focus on how bad your tinnitus is, it can’t possibly get any better.

But, why is this? Why can’t tinnitus get better if you focus your mind on tinnitus? The truth is that most of us have been taught that if we focus on the problem long enough and use all of our mind’s energy to fix the problem that it will get better. However, this is false. You cannot fix a problem created by the mind using the same mind that created it. The mind has only a limited amount of information available to it to fix problems. In fact, the mind has only its knowledge of past experiences to draw from. Therefore, if it has never fixed a problem like tinnitus before it cannot possibly comprehend all of the infinite number of ways that tinnitus can be cured or the countless number of ways to alleviate the symptoms.

So, if our mind is not powerful enough to fix tinnitus then what are we to do? Sit around and wait for a cure? Maybe, but sitting around waiting for something to happen while still being focused on the tinnitus will cause the tinnitus to get worse. We want somehow to find a way to make it better now, right?

Well, based on my experience it is possible to have the best of both worlds. I believe that tinnitus will be cured one day but I also know that I can live a tinnitus free life right now. All I have to do is make a choice to live it right now. Not tomorrow, not in a year from now but right now. Because now is all we have. All that’s ever been and all that ever will be is… now. You cannot live in the future and you cannot live in the past. You can only live now.

So, how do you choose to live in the now? By focusing on what it is you want and accept the way things are now and to be happy now. You see, that’s all that you want is it not? You want to be happy. In fact, that’s the goal of most people, to be happy. Yet, we’re so focused on doing things to get a result that will make us happy in the future that we never really get there. Because when we get there we change the rules then focus on another goal and start the cycle all over again.

How can you be happy now and still have tinnitus? Simple, choose to be happy. If you stop giving negative energy to your tinnitus and choose to be happy in the moment then that’s all you have to do. If you think you can only be happy when your tinnitus is cured then I guarantee you that you will live a long and very unhappy existence until the day you die. Because being focused on only being happy when your tinnitus is cured is completely backwards. You can only be happy now.

What are some of the ways you can learn to be happy in the moment? That’s also a simple answer. By focusing on your true heart’s desire and taking the necessary steps to achieve it then you will have succeeded in what most people will never achieve. Not only will you eventually live your dream but you will be happy everyday until you get there.

What is your true heart’s desire? That’s what your heart knows to be true. It’s what your heart knows to be the direction your life should be taking. It’s what you get excited about. For example if you’re in a job or a business that you hate you cannot possibly ever be happy. You can of course enjoy brief moments of happiness but not true happiness.

You can only enjoy true happiness by following your true heart’s desire. Anything less will be sure to bring you a life of distress, worry, doubt and constant fear. That’s what I mean by focusing on what you want. What you really want is to follow your true heart’s desire. Not only will you get it, because the universe will not allow you to fail, but you will always overcome any obstacles in your way no matter how big they are. Tinnitus is just an obstacle to overcome. Therefore, if you are focused on your true heart’s desire your tinnitus will be conquered. It has to be. Nothing, including tinnitus, can take you out of the game if you’re focused on what you want.

As a so-called expert on tinnitus and a professional concert pianist I often get asked, “How does tinnitus affect your ability to practice and perform music.” I’d like to answer this question in such a way that my response applies to everyone, not just musicians. Therefore, whenever I talk about music, you must substitute your own dominant creative talent. In other words, just replace music with the desire and creative activity which you aspire to the most.

So, let’s begin. Music is a huge part of my life, yet even though I make the major portion of my income from the music business it doesn’t seem like work at all. It seems more like “play.”

But, this was not always the case. I saw my life in music as a job and not a very enjoyable one at that. This was because the people who I was involved with in the music business were competitors instead of co-creators.

Then when tinnitus came along, it infected me to the point where I no longer enjoyed playing the piano at all. And, I can tell you that it was a very painful experience to not be doing the thing I loved the most. However, once I realized that my resistance to “what is”, in other words my resistance to tinnitus, was causing me to self-sabotage my piano music career, I stopped. Then, I started re-focusing on what I truly wanted, instead of what I didn’t want.

Once focused on music and how I could utilize my talents, experience and energy in a more positive way, my tinnitus no longer became a factor. It no longer kept me from what I wanted which, was a successful music career. Now, that I have it, it keeps growing and getting bigger and my tinnitus is continually taking a back seat to the things that really matter the most to me.

However, until I realized through learning, that I could change my reality by changing my thoughts, nothing would have happened because I didn’t know this was even possible. The key is ‘learning’. I went from being a know-it-all to a learn-it-all pretty much overnight. This drastically changed my perceptions of music and the music business altogether.

So then, I went out in search of people, places, circumstances and events that could support my new version of reality. Once I attracted those things naturally everything seemed to get easier. Opportunity seemed to be around every corner just waiting for me to acknowledge it.

My music career is already by most standards very successful. Have I achieved everything I’ve ever wanted to? No. But, that does not negate the fact that I live everyday as if I’ve already achieved greatness. I know it’s only a matter of physical time before I manifest most of my desires into reality where there’s proof, not only for me, but for everyone else as well.

I’ll let you browse around my website and see some of the things I’ve done. It’s quite an extensive site and you sometimes have to dig deep to get where you’re going but the information about my past experiences and successes are there. Most of these things wouldn’t have been possible without the jolt that tinnitus gave me. Tinnitus helped me realize that I was the only cause of everything around me be it negative or positive. All I had to do then was change my dominant consistent thoughts to include more of “what I want” and less of “what I don’t want.”

Learning the Law of Attraction helped me a great deal in this process. Like attracts like. If I’m constantly worried, afraid and obsessing about things, I get tons of unwanted results I’d rather not have. On the other hand, if I keep monitoring my thoughts and keep reaching for the highest thought in the moment, I tend to materialize with very little effort some amazing results. And, along with those amazing results comes a lot less tinnitus volume.

Music was the key for me. Why? Because, music is my true hearts desire. To succeed on any level in the music business is a bonus. The whole starving artist thing kept me safe but in a place of not having. I want my cake and eat it too. I want a life in music but I also want to be successful at it and if that includes more money, that’s a bonus.

So, to sum up, if I were to offer advice, which I do very rarely, I would say that focusing on your music will not only eliminate your tinnitus but, it will bring you more of everything you want. Reaching for the highest thought, in every moment where you are tempted to have a negative one, will have a tremendous impact on your life situation. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish just by focusing your attention and energy on what you truly want.

I’ll leave you with this thought. “Life is not about struggle, fear, worry and pain, it’s about easily manifesting in a healthy and positive way the things you desire the most. Once you figure out what it is you truly want, and then focus your dominant and consistent thoughts on getting what you want, you cannot fail to get what you want. In the process, your negative self-defeating habits will fade and be replaced with a completely new map of reality – one in which every island exposes a lost treasure that was just waiting for you to uncover it.”

In sickness and in health is a promise I made to my husband twelve years ago. However, I can honestly say that I made that vow in ignorance. Because, until the person you love is suffering, one can never truly understand what that means. When my husband Paul developed a chronic case of Tinnitus (ringing in the ears), it was the beginning of a whole new journey that would put our vows to the ultimate test.

I could not see, hear, or feel what Paul was suffering from. He did not have any visible symptoms like a missing limb, bleeding, broken bones, labored breathing, or any other physical proof whatsoever that he was in a state of chronic suffering. I knew that there was a foreign sound raping his mind but, I did not and could not have a true understanding it. I felt helpless as his life experience spiraled steadily downward in fear, pain, and emotional distress. My hands were tied and I felt disempowered to do anything about it.

Up until tinnitus, we had been happily married and partners in life and business. My immediate reaction to this new challenge was to step up to the plate and be the rescuer. When Paul would dive into an emotional void of darkness, I’d find some buttons to push to remind his that all was not lost and there was still hope. I became the emotional cheerleader in the struggle. That’s all I knew how to do but, that never seemed to be enough. It caused me have feelings of self-doubt, powerlessness, fear, anger, and utter disdain for Tinnitus.

Did I want to give up? You bet! Many times I thought and truly believed that the Tinnitus was bigger than him, and me. I saw Tinnitus as the conqueror and that it had turned my husband into some different kink of stranger that I couldn’t possibly love.

The man who I knew and had loved had disappeared into a constant state of depression and victimization. I would live out many painful days watching him, observing him while all the while silently pondering the decision to either stay and fight or get up and leave. But, somehow something kept me there. Through his pain and rage and through his suffering, he would show me undeniable love. And, when I did entertain the thoughts of leaving I would witness brief moments of this love which would somehow shine through his suffering.

What I didn’t realize at the time is that the man I had lost to Tinnitus had to surrender to his illness and he had to die. I hated losing him and my heart was aching with fear, anxiety and loss. But at the same moment, I was witnessing something truly miraculous. A new man was being born.

As he changed, I changed. As he grew into awareness, so did I. I was entering into a completely new state of being that I had never known before. Certainly, the man I married was gone, but the man that grew out of suffering was a man that I would grow to love in a more authentic way than I ever thought possible.

I learned what “in sickness and in health” truly meant. I learned the true meaning of partnership; one based on personal and spiritual growth. Tinnitus forced us onto this new journey. And, even though it was often very uncomfortable and seemingly impossible, it was slowly bringing us a very beautiful place in our lives.

Tinnitus helped us graduate from romantic love to authentic love. And, it served to introduce us to the concept that we were in this partnership to help one another through our own personal development. Paul became a man that I truly admire, respect and am very proud of.

But, I too grew in many ways, and am very proud and honored to be me in this partnership. In sickness and in health may have meant very little to me at first and, if I had to do it all over again, I’d be keeping a closer eye on the prize; true happiness.

If you can fight your way to the other side of the suffering caused by tinnitus, if you can do the hard work and if you can trust the process, you will truly find your heart’s desire. I did.